Sirocco

the subcontinent - well the subcontinent's biggest nations, atleast - have outdone themselves at the world cup. it's hard to tell whose collective assholes are sagging more because of all the buttfucking, india's or pakistan's. the men in green are staying back in jamaica due to important social engagements with members of the jamaican police force. inzy: bismillah-i-rahman-i-rahim. we are to beeing in troubles sirji? jamaican cop: yaa maan. you have noo idea. inzy: bismillah-i-rahman-i-rahim. we are beeing waiting in hotels. are we in arrested? jamaican cop: noo maan. you jus' bein' aksed to waait whahle wee find out what youse bin doin' wid ol' bob. inzy: bismillah-i-rahman-i-rahim. so how we are beeing in troubles sirji, if we are nots in arrested? jamaican cop: weell leftenant curtly over dere, he found dis bag in mr. mohamed yoosoof's room durin' a randome search. he was lookin' in de drawers - de room's, not mr. yoosoof's - and ...

some days you just want to go postal. bang, muthafucker . of course that's never going to happen, so you take it out on the people you love. okayyy . leaving the random thought behind... i crossed the road to the cigarette shop. as i passed a few rowhouses , a row erupted. no, this is not a tommy cooper joke. it actually happened. anyway, two neighbouring couples are slugging it out over something that involved the water supply. or possibly, given that this is bombay , the lack thereof. by the time i had moved not more than five steps forward, a crowd had formed. first a couple of kids who'd found something more interesting than the dead cat in the gutter. then a few of the nearby shopkeepers. and finally, the rubberneckers. it's amazing how many of them are around. i think they're attracted to loud noises or something - one crash, one loud voice, and there's fifty of the fuckers crowding around to get a look. there seem to be a few rules. if there's two guys i...

here's a really fun idea that struck me when i was farting around google earth. somebody's probably already figured this out, but what the hell... how about a satnav system, with route computation, coordinates, postal addresses – based on a google earth-type application. the only difference with gps-enabled systems would be that there are no real-time updates on coordinates… but then, hell it’s free! how it works – i enter my home address into omniscope (mwahahah ya ok, it's from pratchett), the map swings around and plants a dot on my home. then i type in another address in the city/another city. omniscope computes the route, shows it to me on the map, and gives me a concise list of directions, landmarks, etc. i figure updates happen once every 3 months, not too much faster, because most city-centres etc. are pretty fixed. in case of long distance/international travel, what happens next is the real shit – omniscope then provides me an immediate update on offers/airlines/tr...